Dear Reader:
Who said it would be easy? Approximately five years ago I was diagnosed with stage two pancreatic cancer after what I thought might be complications due to a tick bite: lack of energy, waves of nausea and some minor signs of jaundice. Within a week my whole world turned upside down. I decided to participate in a clinical trial a month after having major surgery to remove everything that the pancreatic tumor had touched. During this process my entire body became unpredictable and almost unrecognizable to me with the loss of 40+ pounds. Little did I know that in order to survive for this length of time I would have to fight emotionally, physically and financially everyday. With my closest relative being an hour and a half away and being an independent soul I was very aware of the fact that I must do as much as I could on my own. Perhaps this has kept me going?
Everything settled down for about 3 years and my unpredictable body became more predictable for me as I continued the clinical trial. With MRI’s every three months and bloodwork to monitor me I thought everything was fine but unfortunately during June, 2015 I was informed that one of the clinical trial drugs hadn’t worked at all and that I had 2-4 months to live if I did nothing and maybe more if I went back into chemotherapy treatment. To sum it up, I’m now a stage four. After weighing my options, I decided upon treatment closer to my home so that I would have the support and love from neighbors and friends.
My greatest regret is that I wasn’t prepared for the tremendous expense, the uphill battle medically and the drastic change in lifestyle including asking others to assist me. In looking back I was working six days each week and just too busy to stop and take care of myself. I do much, much more than most including commuting to treatment and doctors’ appointments alone but I tire very easily. My advice to everyone is that if you want to live, you need to get out of bed and pretend you have no one to even get you a glass of water. That is a scary thought but I’ve faced it. I’ve also learned to cherish every minute of every day and do something with those moments rather than sleep them away.
Sincerely,
Phyllis ONeal